


Cost of Recklessness

by nctinmotion



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 11:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17406116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctinmotion/pseuds/nctinmotion
Summary: A few reckless hours in Budapest lead Lee Taeyong and Lee Hyuna into a big mess. Those hours, a few months later, are forcing them to choose between their dream or their conscience; whether they're risking their sprouting career, or risking their 2-years-old relationship; whether they have to hide from public's eyes or to be naked in front of them.





	Cost of Recklessness

**Author's Note:**

> First story of 'Love of NCT's Life' series. Lee Hyuna's character is completely fictional, while some informations about Lee Taeyong were based on facts.

**_Silence_**.

The only thing Taeyong could hear was his own heart beating and his brain talking. _What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?_ He kept chanting the question over and over again as if it was a spell that could reverse the whole thing around so he won’t end up in that damned situation.

Taeyong was scared, sad, disappointed, but he was somehow happy too. He was angry, but He had no idea to whom. Was He angry to himself for letting himself getting out of control? Was He mad at the situation? Was He mad to Hyuna for.......? _But why should I be mad at her?_ Taeyong thought. It’s not only his world that was crumbling at that moment. Hyuna’s too, even worse.

He gathered up his courage before saying the words that could mean the end of his sprouting career. _Be a man, Taeyong. Be a man._ He then took a deep breath and opened his mouth,

“Hyuna, I’ll be responsible,” He said. But Hyuna didn't listen. She kept looking at the plastic stick in her right hand absentmindedly. She firmly bit her lips until Her jaws trembling. But not long after, she threw the plastic stick to the ground and started crying. Taeyong’s heart was aching at the sight. He was feeling like he was the most useless human-being ever created.

He almost fall down when He pulled her into his embrace. She put her head on Taeyong’s chest heavily as if she didn't have energy left to hold her body straight. Taeyong stroke her neck down to her lower back, hoping it'll slowly lift her burdens away. "Hyuna, I'll be resp--" Taeyong was about to repeat my words when she hushed him. "I know you'll be responsible." She snuggled in his chest while playing with his left arm, "But I'm afraid we're not ready." She whispered achingly, shooting a loud bang into my chest.

She said, “We should break up.”

Those words weren’t on Taeyong’s dictionary at all. He blinked and blinked as if blinking could help him understood the whole situation, but it didn’t do anything. He got teared up instead, “Hyuna! What do you mean?” Taeyong made Hyuna sat straight. Part of him wished that he was just shooting a soap drama in her apartment.

“Hyuna... I don’t understand why we should break up right now. I’ve told you, I’ll be responsible. Don’t worry” He begged as the tears streaming down his face. He better lose his job than losing the love of his life for the past 2 years.

“How are we gonna be responsible, Tae?” Said Hyuna softly; almost like a sigh.

“I’ll do everything.”

“Then leave me, Tae.”

“Fuck. No. Not until you explain why.”

 

***

 

Everything started three hours earlier when Taeyong was visiting Hyuna’s apartment for his weekly visit. He was re-arranging Hyuna’s bathroom drawer when he realized her tampon box was still fully loaded. He stopped cleaning altogether and trying to recall every memory of intimacy they shared.

He went out of the bathroom with tampon box in his hand “Babe, when was your last period?” Said Taeyong to Hyuna who’s mopping the kitchen floor.

“I don’t know, maybe three months ago.” She acted indifferent and continued doing whatever she’s doing. But her words stroked Taeyong like a lightning. He counted the month using his fingers. _September, August, July. Oh, fuck._ Her last period fell before Taeyong and Hyuna went to Budapest together to celebrate their second anniversary. In Budapest they, obviously, had so much fun— the reckless kind of fun. And it’s not fun anymore at this point.

“Babe, stop.”Taeyong hold Hyuna’s mop in place to stop her from doing her chores. They need to talk seriously, because Taeyong could sense that things were gonna get messy after that. “Are you sure you didn’t get your period last month?” She shook her head. “How about two months ago?” She didn’t reply Taeyong’s questions. Instead, she ran to her bedroom to pick her phone. When she came back, her face changed as though she’s seeing a ghost.

“Tae, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I hope not, but I guess... yes?” He stole Hyuna’s phone from her hand and watch the application carefully. Her last period was indeed three months ago, and the last, reckless, intimacy they had happened on a wrong day, a very wrong day, according to the calendar.

He then put the phone on the table, and he sit side-by-side to Hyuna in the sofa. Taeyong started biting his nails again when he saw Hyuna was sitting really still as if she was a greek statue.

“I’ll go get the pregnancy test.” Said Taeyong after he bit his nails clean. He stroke Hyuna’s hair to calm her nerves down, while he himself didn’t have access to his nerves’ control room. Through his action, Taeyong wanted to tell Hyuna that everything will be fine; _we’re in this together._

 

***

 

Taeyong forcefully dragged the soulless Hyuna out of the bathroom to the living room and made her sit on their favorite sofa. Never in his kife Taeyong thought about having a serious conversation with Hyuna on the sofa, because usually the talk was around movies, songs, or foods. He had no idea that someday they’ll talk about breaking up on the sacred sofa.

“The baby might not be yours.” Said Hyuna when she finally opened her mouth. She desperately hoped that Taeyong would get angry and stop asking about why they should break up because the more he ask, the harder it’ll be to lie.

“Who’s the guy?” Taeyong asked calmly, “Lee Taeyang?” He chuckled, watching Hyuna with his loving eyes. Hyuna was taken aback when her eyes met Taeyong’s. That was the look she loved the most, but that’s not what she needed. She needed to see anger in those eyes as if he wanted to kill her.

“Tae, I’m serious. It was just for one night when you were in Japan. I didn’t write it down on my journal because—“

“Try making your excuse more believable.” Said Taeyong without looking at Hyuna at all. He knew she’s lying because she’ll try to explain her reason in great detail whenever she’s lying.

Taeyong chose to ignore Hyuna’s every explanation until he believes she’s telling the truth. He turned the TV on and watch whatever it shows to make himself look busy.

_In fact, his mind was busy calculating._

He counted every cent he had in his saving minus the debt he hadn’t paid back to the agency: deficit. He hadn’t even included the cost of hospital, foods, and education in his calculation.

But it’s not the number in his saving account that made his head hurt, it’s the fact that he had no future if he had to step down from being a singer. He’d been putting all his time and effort to become a singer, he didn’t have a good educational background. There’s no way he could be an ordinary employee. Business? He had no resource and courage to do that.

But to stay in the entertainment industry is also another problem. He had a bad reputation because of his adolescent behavior, and he tore his remaining reputation by having a relationship while being an active idol.

_In conclusion, he’s fucked up._

“Tae, are you listening?” Hyuna Raised her voice when she realized Taeyong wasn’t paying attention to everything at all.

“Sorry, some thought running through my mind.”

“I wanted us to break up, because I can’t be the mother of your child, Tae.” And the explanation poured fuel into Taeyong’s anger. He threw the remote he hold to the ground; the broken pieces flying out to every corner of the living room.

Hyuna quivered. She had never seen Taeyong that angry.

“You can’t be the mother of my child. Fuck. I thought you love me?”

“I love you, Tae. But having a child with you is different thing.”

“How’s it different?” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second to steady himself, “Ah, I see. You love me, but you don’t see a future with me. Is that right?”

“It’s not about you, Tae. It’s about me. I will never be a good mother.” All of things shot through her mind in a split second before she forced herself to look at Taeyong again. “You know how I live, Tae. I’ve never had a good mother figure in my life, I have no idea how a good mother behaves. I don’t wanna be like my mother, Tae.”

Hyuna was born in 1997 from an un-married young couple at that time. Hyuna's mom, who was just 20 years old at that time, gave birth to Hyuna when she was still in college. Her pregnancy got her expelled form her school, and then she couldn't get a decent job. Hyuna's father who wasn’t the hard-working type of guy, chose to be involved in gambling and it cost every penny of their saving.

And 3 years after Hyuna was born, her father left to get married with another woman. It turned Hyuna’s mom from a loving person into a monster. She became abusive. Her words were so harsh, it’s still carved deeply in Hyuna’s mind.

_"I wish I had an abortion."_

That was what her mother told Hyuna every time she’s buying Hyuna meals, paying her tuition, or whenever money’s involved until Hyuna was old enough to be financially independent. And it’s still haunting Hyuna in her darkest days; she’s still trying to deal with her wound.

And she didn’t wanna be a monster to her child; especially Taeyong’s child.

“I want you to leave me, Tae. I’m not gonna keep the baby, and you’ll hate me for that.”

“Why? You’re gonna be a great mother, Hyuna. Don’t let your mother’s ghost ruins you again.”

"Can you guarantee I'm not gonna turn into monster like her?" She asked calmly, but her words were shaper than knife.

"Of course! You’re not your mother, you have me and I’ll support you all the time.” 

"How do you support me then? By getting married to me, leaving your job behind, leaving your group behind?" She asked furiously. “I’m not gonna destroy your dream, Tae.”

 _Who are you?_ Taeyong asked himself when seeing the person in front of him. If she's the real Hyuna, she's really acting out of her character. Her eyes didn't have the light and the soul anymore. The way she's choosing her words wasn't like her at all.  
  
And then she continued. "Of course, _on paper_ , you support me. But have you thought about how your group members' life would be when you _destroy_ the group image? Have you—" She stopped talking for catching her breath "Have you thought about what your fans will say to our child about our mistake? Have you thought about _how_ we're gonna feed our child if your career and my career destroyed?" She said while pointing her finger at me. She's really angry, judging from the redness of her face. "Have you--"  
  
"Stop." Taeyong couldn't contain his anger anymore. "I get it now." Taeyong gritted his teeth before continuing his words. "You must think I'm as stupid as your father who couldn't stand being in a difficult position. I am NOT your father, Hyuna." He said while banging his hands on the sofa "But then, you don't trust me, do you? You don't think I'm capable of doing all that, do you?"

Taeyong couldn't help but laughing at the situation. Hyuna shivered in her seat, making Taeyong regret everything he had said "I get it if you're not ready to be a parent. Neither do I. But I can't understand your real reasons behind _killing_ our child!" I unconsciously emphasized on the word _killing._ "My fans? My members? Money? Fuck that. We can work it out if we _want_ to try. But I guess.... you're just as weak as your mother, aren't you?"

Taeyong gasped as he realized his last word. That was so wrong. _Fuck. I said too much._

  
"See? I'm no different than my mother." She laughed while wiping tears away from her eyes. "Thank you for spilling the truth, Taeyong." She walk out of the living room with stomping steps. She didn't even look back when Taeyong called her name. She snapped her wrist from his grip when Taeyong reached out for her. She left Taeyong alone in her apartment with guilt clouding above his head.

_God, please tell me this is not the end._

 

***

 

**From: 박지원**

Taeyong, don’t worry, Hyuna’s in my house.

 

**To: 박지원**

How’s she?

 

**From: 박지원**

Fine, I guess? She’s sleeping now and we hadn’t had much talk too. I’ll just wait for her to wake up.

 

**To: 박지원**

Ok. Thanks, Hyung. Please keep me updated.


End file.
